Unleash Your Emotional Intelligence: Overcoming the Top 7 Emotions Preventing You from Thriving

“You don’t have to control your thoughts; you just have to stop letting them control you.” – Dan Millman

Emotional intelligence (EI) also known as Emotional Quotient (EQ) is one of the most powerful skills you can cultivate to overcome the emotional roadblocks that prevent personal and professional growth.

EQ is the foundation for personal growth, healthy relationships, and professional success. It’s the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your emotions and the emotions of others—a skill essential for anyone seeking to elevate their life. As Daniel Goleman, a pioneer in emotional intelligence research, famously said, “What really matters for success, character, happiness, and lifelong achievements is a definite set of emotional skills.”

For women optometrists, developing EQ can transform challenges into opportunities, enhance patient interactions, and pave the way for lasting success, joy, and fulfillment. Let’s explore seven key emotions—Fear, Worry, Anxiety, Self-Doubt, Pride, Anger, and Resentment—that may be keeping you from thriving, along with actionable steps to break free from their hold.

1. Fear: Stepping Beyond Your Comfort Zone

Fear is an instinctual response to perceived threats, but it can become a barrier to growth when it prevents you from stepping out of your comfort zone.

Example: Dr. Jessica, an optometrist, feared expanding her practice even though it was thriving. This fear held her back from reaching the next level in her career, stopping her from hiring more staff or opening a new location.

How to Overcome Fear:

• Acknowledge It: Begin by recognizing that fear is natural. Dr. Susan Jeffers, author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, explains that “the only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.”
• Reframe It as Growth: Fear often signifies that you’re on the brink of growth. Embrace it as a sign of progress. Think of it as an opportunity to explore, discover, and expand. Fear is not necessarily a threat, but an opportunity.
• Take Small Steps: If fear is overwhelming, break down your goals into smaller, achievable steps. This gives you a sense of control, making the journey manageable. Gradually ease into what you fear. Dr. Jessica could have taken steps to delegate tasks or hire part-time staff, allowing her to adjust without overwhelming anxiety.

Practical Tip: List out your fears and write down why each fear may be exaggerated. Then, jot down one small step you can take to overcome it.

Quote: “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” – Susan Jeffers

2. Worry: Freeing Your Mind from the “What Ifs”

Worry centers around potential negative outcomes that may or may not happen, draining your energy and focus.

Example: Dr. Anna spent countless hours worrying about patient complaints or whether she’d be able to meet her monthly financial goals. This led to burnout and distracted her from providing quality care.

How to Overcome Worry:

• Focus on What You Can Control: Identify actionable steps you can take and let go of what you can’t control.
• Schedule Worry Time: Set aside 10 minutes a day to reflect on concerns. When worry arises outside that time, remind yourself to address it later.

Quote: “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.” – Corrie Ten Boom

3. Anxiety: Building Inner Calm Amidst Uncertainty

Anxiety can cause restlessness, and overthinking, and even affect physical health, especially when it comes to career decisions or patient outcomes.

Example: Dr. Emily, a recent graduate, was anxious about seeing her first patients independently. Her anxiety affected her sleep and focus, and she often felt overwhelmed.

How to Overcome Anxiety:

• Mindfulness Practice: Engage in deep breathing exercises or meditation to calm your mind.
• Focus on Present Actions: Anxiety pulls you into the future, so bring yourself back to what you can accomplish now.

Quote: “You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” – Dan Millman

4. Self-Doubt: Cultivating Higher Self-Esteem and Confidence

Self-doubt is a silent dream-killer. When we constantly question our self-worth and abilities, we hinder our potential and stay stuck in our comfort zones. This condition can prevent you from recognizing your abilities, achievements, and potential.

Examples: Dr. Sarah often questioned her skills, even though her patients praised her care. Her self-doubt kept her from applying for a leadership role that she was highly qualified for.

Dr. Jane, an experienced optometrist, hesitates to launch her own practice despite years of success. Self-doubt keeps her from realizing her dream of independence.

How to Overcome Self-Doubt:

• Challenge Negative Thoughts: Identify limiting beliefs that fuel self-doubt, like “I’m not good enough.” Challenge these thoughts by reminding yourself of your achievements.
• Reframe Your Inner Dialogue: Replace “I’m not good enough” with “I am learning and growing every day.”
• Visualize your Success: Imagine yourself thriving in the areas you doubt most. Visualization helps create a positive mental image, reinforcing self-belief.
• Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge your successes, big or small, to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Celebrate every achievement, no matter how small. Each success builds confidence and makes the next challenge seem smaller.

Practical Tip: Make a list of your top achievements and look at it whenever self-doubt arises.

Quote: “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Suzy Kassem

5. Pride: Embracing Humility for Growth

Pride can blind you to constructive criticism and keep you from learning and improving.

Example: Dr. Laura was so confident in her approach that she dismissed feedback from colleagues and patients. Her inability to accept feedback eventually hurt her practice’s reputation.

How to Overcome Pride:

• Accept Feedback: Embrace feedback as an opportunity for growth.
• Adopt a Learner’s Mindset: Cultivate curiosity and openness, reminding yourself that everyone can benefit from continuous learning.

Quote: “Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right.” – Ezra Taft Benson

6. Anger: Channeling Frustration Constructively

Anger is a powerful emotion that is necessary at times to protect your integrity and your life. When it’s not controlled, it can cloud judgment and lead to actions we may later regret. Left unchecked, it can harm relationships, decision-making, and professional growth.

Example: Dr. Jenn often became angry at uncooperative patients or staff errors, which created a hostile work environment and increased staff turnover.

How to Overcome Anger:

• Recognize Your Triggers: Awareness is key. Notice when anger arises and what triggers it. This self-awareness is the first step to emotional control.
• Pause and Reflect: When anger arises, take a moment to pause. Goleman calls this the “amygdala hijack,” where your emotional brain takes over. Take deep breaths to regain control. When anger arises, take deep breaths, assess the situation calmly, and seek help as needed.
• Channel Anger into Solutions: Instead of focusing on what went wrong, use that energy to seek constructive solutions. Use anger as fuel for positive action. If a problem at work makes you angry, channel that energy into creating a solution.

Quote: “For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

7. Resentment: Letting Go for Inner Peace

Resentment is often rooted in past hurts or unresolved conflicts and can prevent you from moving forward positively. Resentment can cloud judgment and prevent personal growth.

Example: Dr. Emily felt resentment toward a former partner who left her with significant practice debt. This bitterness affected her relationships with current colleagues.

How to Overcome Resentment:

• Practice Forgiveness: Remember that forgiveness is for your peace, not for anyone else’s approval. Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing a negative behavior, it means letting go of its emotional hold preventing your success joy, and fulfillment. Forgiveness is as much for you as it is for others.
• Focus on Personal Growth: When you focus on self-improvement, you release energy tied up in past negativity.
• Embrace Empathy: Try to see situations from the perspective of others. Empathy can help diminish the negative feelings that feed resentment.
• Focus on the Present: Shift your attention away from past hurts to what you can create in the present.

Practical Tip: Write a “release letter” where you express your feelings towards the person or situation, and then release it without sending it, you retake your power and your freedom.

Quote: “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” – Buddha

Summary: Harnessing Emotional Intelligence for Success

Developing emotional intelligence is an ongoing journey of self-awareness and growth. This article offers practical tips to help you get started in your personal development journey.

1. Fear: Take small, courageous steps to grow beyond your comfort zone.
2. Worry: Focus on what you can control and let go of unnecessary concerns.
3. Anxiety: Calm your mind through mindfulness and stay grounded in the present.
4. Self-Doubt: Cultivate self-confidence by celebrating every achievement, no matter how small.
5. Pride: Embrace humility and the willingness to learn from others.
6. Anger: Channel anger toward constructive solutions, creating positive outcomes.
7. Resentment: Release past hurts through forgiveness and focus on the present.

Keep on discovering and taking action every day to thrive in life and your profession.

Call to Action

As a woman in optometry, you have the power to master these emotions and achieve your highest potential. Join the Optometry Divas community, where you’ll find support, resources, and inspiration to thrive in your personal and professional life. Click HERE to join a community that empowers, connects, and promotes each other’s success.

References

• Books:
  • Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books.
  • Jeffers, Susan. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Ballantine Books.
  • Millman, Dan. Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives. HJ Kramer.
• Articles:
  • Inside Out: Pixar’s movie beautifully illustrates how emotions can influence our actions and decisions.
• YouTube: “Mastering Emotional Intelligence” provides practical insights on developing EQ for personal and professional growth.

Disclaimer

This blog provides general information on emotional intelligence and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. If you experience overwhelming emotions, please consult a qualified mental health professional.