Your Words Create Your Reality

“Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Can Never Hurt Me”—Or Can They?

Many of us grew up hearing the phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” It was often used to deflect the hurtful things said on the playground, a way to pretend that harsh words couldn’t penetrate our hearts. But as we grow older, we come to realize just how untrue that statement really is. Words, in fact, have an immense capacity to hurt—sometimes even more than physical pain.

Words are powerful. They shape how we see ourselves, how others perceive us, and how we experience the world around us. They can build us up or tear us down. So, what does that mean for us as we navigate our daily lives, interactions, and self-talk?

The Power of Words

According to Compton’s Encyclopedia, the English language contains around 500,000 words. Yet, the average person’s working vocabulary consists of just 2,000 words—less than 1% of the entire language. Even more striking, most of us rely on a habitual vocabulary of just 200-300 words in our daily conversations and thoughts. Out of these thousands of words, however, two stand out as the most powerful you’ll ever speak: “I AM.”

Why are these two words so important? Because what follows “I AM” becomes your reality. Every time you say or think, “I am,” you are reinforcing a belief about yourself that can either empower you or limit you.

Words and Their Impact on Wellbeing

Words in themselves have no intrinsic power, but the meaning we attach to them does. The words we choose—whether we speak them aloud or in our minds—affect our physical, psychological, and emotional wellbeing. They shape the way we perceive ourselves, how we treat ourselves, and even how others treat us.

In their book Words Can Change Your Brain, Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist, and Mark Robert Waldman, a communications expert, explain that “a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.” A single word can literally alter the chemical makeup of your brain, affecting your stress levels and overall mental state. If just one word has that much power, imagine what the consistent use of certain words can do over time.

What Have You Been Telling Yourself?

Take a moment to reflect on your thoughts over the past day, week, or even month. What have you been saying to yourself? Have your thoughts been more positive or more negative? Are you lifting yourself up or dragging yourself down? Your self-talk is crucial because it not only affects your present state but also shapes your future.

The words you attach to “I AM” play a pivotal role in this. If you repeatedly tell yourself, “I am not good enough,” “I am too old,” or “I am always late,” those beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies. On the other hand, if you replace those negative affirmations with positive ones—”I am capable,” “I am enough,” “I am punctual”—you begin to rewrite your own narrative.

The Influence of Others’ Words

It’s not just your own words that shape your reality; the words of others have a profound impact as well. Often, we adopt beliefs about ourselves that originate from what others have said. A passing comment from a family member, teacher, or peer can leave a lasting imprint on your self-perception. If you’ve internalized negative statements from others—”You’re not smart enough” or “You’ll never succeed”—those words can become the foundation of your inner dialogue.

But the truth is, you get to decide who you are. You are the co-creator of your life. The beliefs others have about you only have power if you allow them to. Instead of adopting others’ negative words, you can choose to craft your own positive identity.

Changing the Narrative

It’s often said that what you speak after “I AM” defines your reality. If you continually say, “I am fat,” “I am lazy,” or “I am unworthy,” that’s exactly what you’ll believe and experience. However, you can change your narrative by substituting negative affirmations with positive ones. Here are a few examples:

• “I am stupid” becomes “I am smart.”
• “I am too old” becomes “I am youthful.”
• “I am not good enough” becomes “I am always good enough.”
• “I am lazy” becomes “I am motivated and disciplined.”

This practice of word substitution works, but it’s crucial to believe what you’re saying. If you don’t genuinely believe the positive words you’re affirming, the conflict between your mind and words will create resistance. For instance, if you keep saying, “I am fit,” but deep down believe “I am fat,” nothing will change. Your mind needs to be in alignment with the words you speak for them to have a real impact.

One Simple Trick: Use Your Name

If you’re struggling to believe positive affirmations, there’s a simple trick you can try: use your name instead of an affirmation that feels inauthentic. For example, instead of saying “I am fit” when you don’t believe it, say “I am [your name].” When you use your name, you can’t be in conflict with yourself because it’s a statement of truth. It instantly reframes your thinking and allows you to see yourself beyond the narrow, negative labels you may have imposed on yourself.

Using your name helps reconnect you with your identity, reminding you that you are more than your flaws or limitations. It’s a powerful, grounding practice that can help you shift your mindset when affirmations feel out of reach.

Conclusion: Words Shape Your World

The words you speak to yourself and others are incredibly powerful. They lead to thoughts, which turn into feelings, which become actions, which ultimately shape your habits and your reality. If you want to change your life, start by changing your words. And if you ever find yourself stuck, simply remember your name—it’s the foundation of your identity, and from there, you can rebuild any aspect of your life.

Words can hurt, but they can also heal. Use them wisely, and speak life into your world.

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