Reason #2 – Mommy Guilt connects women in all walks of life – You are not alone!
In our last article, I told you that you shouldn’t stress about “Mommy Guilt” because that type of guilt is actually normal, especially for working moms. “Mommy Guilt” is not only normal, but women in all walks of life, generally feel connected through that guilt. From movie stars and models to teachers, doctors and stay-at-home moms; we all share the guilt about missing the mark as moms.
In the 2016 movie, “Bad Mom” a group of overworked, overscheduled, and underappreciated moms finally rebel and decide to start behaving less than perfectly around their families and their peers. One of the reasons this funny trio got together in the movie, is because they all felt they didn’t make the cut in their supermom community. They were connected by that guilt. It was that bond that caused them to realize that sometimes it’s ok to be “Bad Moms”. If you saw the movie, you know the rest of the story… It was hilarious.
But on a serious note, according to Workingmother.com “a new study confirms that we’re all walking around feeling bad about our parenting choices: American parents feel an average of 23 pangs of guilt a week for parenting decisions we feel aren’t up to our standards… Moms, by the way, are twice as likely than dads to feel bad…” That’s just too much guilt! Why do moms feel so guilty?
Are we programmed for guilt?
Well, it appears that moms may be programmed to feel guilt. From a very young age, women are bombarded with messages that tell us we’re supposed to be perfect. Many of our magazines, sitcoms, and other media propagate this unrealistic standard for women to live by. We internalize these messages and those internal voices in turn create our programming. These messages cause us to create unrealistic standards for ourselves and thus we want to be everything to everyone.
For example, we beat ourselves up for not making it to the mother’s day breakfast in our son’s kindergarten class because we had to go to work. But, we also beat ourselves up when we do go because we didn’t bring home baked cupcakes like some of the “other moms”. This is one of those “damned if we do and damned if we don’t” scenarios.
As bad as it is, this guilt can create camaraderie, especially when you see another mom rolling her eyes at those “perfect moms” with the home baked cupcakes – you and that other mom just developed an automatic connection.
Being a mom is hard work and it’s very important work; and feeling guilty about missed opportunities is normal. You will make mistakes, you will mess up, but it’s OK! It’s even OK to feel guilty about it. Just don’t dwell on it. And who knows… You might make a new friend because of it.
You’re probably guilty of this too… LOL!
I wanted to end this blog by sharing some funny stories I found on vogue.com. Don’t be surprised if you feel a connection when you read these stories. They are funny examples of mom’s who admit to being a little less than perfect…
“I once played Drake in front of my toddler and she loved it so much, I constantly put on his songs now. This doesn’t sound so terrible, until you listen closely to the lyrics and realize my 1-year-old daughter is dancing along to lyrics that say, ‘bounce that “s—t” like whoa’ and ‘she rode that d—k like a soldier.’ Not great.”
—Bad mom to a 1-year-old
“One time I was playing in the park with my daughter and she was going to go down the slide and I really wanted to capture the moment on Snapchat. Instead of catching her at the end, I was too busy filming her on my iPhone and basically saw her go straight down the slide and fall flat on her face. The whole thing was recorded.”
—Bad mom to an 18-month-old
“I’m still working on not saying the “F’ word in front of her. She’s been known to repeat it here and there, even to her preschool teachers. Oops! Luckily, they thought it was funny and it’s but one word in her extensive toddler vocabulary.”
—Bad mom to a 2-year-old
You’re not a “Mombot”
Sure, you could always be more organized, more cheerful, more on top of every little detail. But you’re not a Mombot, thank goodness, and no one (except, perhaps, you!) expects you to be. Don’t let “Mommy Guilt” consume you; instead realize that you’re not alone. Guilt connects women in all walks of life
Well that’s two down and one to go and if you think reason #2 was interesting; wait till you hear reason #1. So stay tuned as the countdown continues!
We’re collecting funny “Bad Mom” stories. Share your stories in the comment section below your chance to be featured in our next article in this series! This should be fun!