Where do you belong?
We’re continuing our story from last week about our misfit bird. When we left off last week, our orphan bird had just discovered she could fly. And during her flight, she experienced an overwhelming sense of joy and peace. For the first time in her life, she didn’t feel out of place. It’s as if she had found the place she was looking for all her life. It’s as if she’d found her home.
Our little orphan bird also discovered another bird who looked just like her. In her curiosity, she flew in the direction of that bird with a plethora of questions burning insider of her. What kind of bird was she? How was she able to fly so high? Are there others just like her?
As she got closer to the other bird, it became more and more evident that this bird was one of her kind. With hesitation, she approached the other bird and said, “hello”. The other bird turned around and greeted her. Our orphan bird, didn’t know what to say or how to start this much anticipated conversation, so she just hurled a slew of questions at the other bird.
After a very awkward start, the other bird realized the predicament of our orphan bird. After calming her down, the other bird took some time and answered the questions of the orphan bird.
Your flaws are on purpose
The other bird explained to the orphan bird that she was an eagle. And explained further, what an eagle was, where they lived and what they did. All this time, our orphan bird thought she was defected. But it turned out that what she thought was her defect was actually her edge.
In her conversation with the other eagle, she realized eagles didn’t live on the ground nor did they spend their days swimming. She realized that the reason she didn’t fit in with the other ducks was because she was never a duck; she was an eagle! Eagles aren’t meant to swim, they’re built to fly. Eagles aren’t meant to live on low ground, they are designed for high ground. Finally, it all began to make sense.
This anecdote may seem elementary but the moral is powerful. Just like this orphan bird, many of you don’t know who you are or where you belong. You’re walking around aimlessly quacking with ducks when your really belong in the sky. You know something is not right, you feel out of place, but you don’t know why. If that’s you, it’s time to stop quacking and start flying!
How to find your place?
In his article, Mark Manson of markmanson.net discusses 7 strange questions that help you find your life purpose. Out of the seven, this one stood out to me the most – How can you better embarrass yourself? Here’s what he had to say about how you can find your place when you’re not afraid to embarrass yourself.
Before you are able to be good at something and do something important, you must first suck at something and have no clue what you’re doing. That’s pretty obvious. And in order to suck at something and have no clue what you’re doing, you must embarrass yourself in some shape or form, often repeatedly. And most people try to avoid embarrassing themselves, namely because it sucks.
Ergo, if you avoid anything that could potentially embarrass you, then you will never end up doing something that feels important.
Yes, it seems that once again, it all comes back to vulnerability.
Right now, there’s something you want to do, something you think about doing, something you fantasize about doing, yet you don’t do it. You have your reasons, no doubt. And you repeat these reasons to yourself continuously.
But what are those reasons? Because I can tell you right now that if those reasons are based on what others would think, then you’re screwing yourself over big time.
If your reason is something like, “I can’t start a business because spending time with my kids is more important to me,” then OK. Sounds good.
But if your reasons are, “My parents would hate it,” or “My friends would make fun of me,” or “If I failed, I’d look like an idiot,” then chances are, you’re actually avoiding something you truly care about because caring about that thing is what scares you, not what mom thinks or what your colleagues would says.
Great things are, by their very nature, unique and unconventional. Therefore, to achieve them, we must go against the herd mentality. And to do that is scary.
Embrace embarrassment. Feeling foolish is part of the path to achieving something important, something meaningful. The more a major life decision scares you, chances are the more you need to be doing it.
Our orphan bird spent most of her early life trying to fit in a place where she didn’t belong. She avoided doing what came natural for her because she was afraid of the disapproval of the other birds. If it wasn’t for a near death experience, she would’ve never discovered who she really was. It she wasn’t afraid of being embarrassed, she might have discovered who she was much sooner.
What about you? Are you living out of place? Are you living a subpar life because you’re afraid of failure? Have you discovered your place in life? If you have, congratulations!!! However, if you haven’t yet, we can help! Check out our consulting, it’s one of the few programs that helps you work on creating a winning mindset to get the results you want. Click on the link below to sign up.
We are not done with out story yet, stay tuned for part 3 in the journey of our little bird: Living on purpose – Discover Your Prey!
Until then, remember to Dream Big, Take Risks and Become the CEO of You!